Live & Love
Hi beautiful peeps 💜 Hope life is treating you well. Life is definitely a huge trial for all of us, even when challenges whether emotional, physical , financial or spiritual come about .
Some of you may notice my resilience, strength, optimistic, positive, inspiring and so much more in my blog posts and on social media. Well that's good..except that everyday I suffer. Yep. This gal cries. Sometimes gets upset. I even get down and can't take it anymore. Who would've thought huh?
I have my challenges. I am on medication for depression. I still do therapy. Yet, I am working hard just day by day. That's quite alright . You may see messages of strength or beautiful art work or listen to me sing..What you don't see but mainly my husband Tarl because he works from home and I'm doing school online and trying to get our little small store Going, he sees the pain, tears, me praying, my different moods etc.
Behind all positive things is a beautiful overweight , big chested , smart, funny, talented woman and wife . I am working on my last year of college and hoping to graduate with Bachelor's in FamilyScience
In spring 2023 . I deal with and have dealt with ptsd trauma from my past and working on my health.
I have type 2 diabetes and such horrible and painful abdominal issues . I swell like I'm 9 months pregnant ( I only have a left tube and ovary . Had hysterectomy at 21 ) and I have intermittent vomiting like Niagara falls. Trust me it's not pretty like the falls lol but Tarl is an amazing partner if he hears in his office will come help.
I have Oestoarthritis and inflammatory arthritis. Cervical stenosis and plate and screws in my neck c5-c7. Working with neurosurgeon, gi specialist, doctors, ent, and doing all kinds of fun tests and dances in hospital gowns too.
Seeing about all kinds of symptoms and pains and discomforts. These are just few what I have been going through. The thing is , my life is my life and I choose how I want to be. I've lived about 20 years of pain, suffering, horrible relationships and trauma, surgeries, tests, deep depression, serving others, low self esteem, no family around, physical and emotional abuse, bullying and just dark place. Where I just gave my all to others. Yes, my mistake. But I learned .
I was not happy and sure enough no one was helping me be happy so I really broke my heart into so many pieces and prayed on my knees a couple years ago, yes during covid too. Being divorced , alone in basement, working and going to school online. I had a small group of close friends there.
I really needed tons of hugs, healing, love, support and most of all williness and faith and love in myself to go on. To keep going despite all obstacles and challenges. No matter my health physical or emotional. No matter missing my family, friends and wishing I was like this or that person.
I chose and still choosing to rise above. Heal in my ways that are comforting to me. Keeping my spiritual strength and testimony strong Because God and our Savior was there the whole time and still are.
I have an amazing husband and his extended family almost 2 years now and for eternity to go. We help heal, love , support, strengthen, be patient with ourselves and each other.
You have your moments. Sometimes it takes time to get questions answered. Sometimes being the best you can and such a good heart, bad things still happen. There be times when you have to forgive and heal for those that have took advantage of you. Soften hearts are so much better, trust me I know. And I know these are really hard to overcome or do.
I'm just saying I'm 39 and I been through some tough , tough experiences and some I wish no one would ever experience. I hate my physical journey , it hurts so much. I don't like paying on debts of those that have done me dirty in the past or took advantage of, but I'm doing it with a grateful heart.
I'm hand in hand with my husband who I love so much more each day. Hand in hand. In order for me to be accepting and to live and love , like I said I had to really break my heart into more pieces for several months and cry, get upset, write, sing, do art, hug so many of my close friends, talk to others, do therapy, cut out toxic people and stay even stronger for God and Savior to carry me.
I was doing the work. I still am. Only difference I AM SAFE. I AM HAPPY. I AM ENOUGH. I found an amazing partner. I got rid of the negative people and pray for then but keep them a far.
I found love and light within myself and loved me in all my falts and messed up body and soul. I found doctors and specialists who truly care and I can trust. I found determination and counselors and advisors to help me push to finish my degree and I have 3 semesters left 16 to 18 credits each, I got this.
I don't know why things happen . I don't know why we can't all get along knowing that each and everyone of us around the world is truly amazing, beautiful and talented. We just need to realize in our own life who we are and our priorities.
I love helping others. I love inspiring with my music, words, art, my stories and more. Sometimes it's hard especially being new at this of opening up and sharing and "marketing" your new little dream store you've had like 2 months, but I have a vision And I don't back down.
So if I could leave few extra words, it would be live and love everymoment. Know you matter and don't need to idolize or be stuck on dreaming someone else's life, body, wealth, Health, talents, love etc. Be stuck on you and embrace and let yourself feel and talk about it. See how far you've come. Fix you. Love you. Stand up for you, even if you're alone. Only you know what's true . What you've been through. Hold on to that . It's your story and your pain. Your struggles and your gains.
Know you are not alone. You will rise above and you are doing amazing things. Just change your perspective and let yourself break to be even more amazing.
I'm here. I see. I feel. I'm doing it . You go be you and love it.
Stay tuned to more of my inspiration and journey in our business, my passions, my schooling, my health, my life, my emotional and spiritual.
Keep shining ✨️ Be inspired
And let's get you shopping in my store... Just live it up . If I can touch one soul a day, It brings me happiness.
Lots of love
~Jackie Inspires ~